Joe and I thought about our future early and often. We had names picked out for our future children years ago. We talked about parenting while we were seniors in high school. We thought we knew it all and had it all planned. One thing I never planned, was for our love to change.
I thought my love for Joe would always remain the same. I knew what love was, and I knew I had it with him. What I did not know was there are different kinds of love. There is the love you feel when he tries to make you better when you are sick, and the love you feel when he tries to make your baby better when he is sick. There’s the love of being in his arms, and the love you feel seeing your small child in his arms.
There is a love that runs deeper and stronger than any love you’ve ever felt before. It emerges when his face is overtaken by joy in the delivery room and it grows when you see those little fingers wrap around his. It overtakes you when his eyes fill with amazement at every movement and every sound your child makes, and when his eyes squint and tear up from the sight and smell of that diaper he really doesn’t want to change (but it’s his turn).
The love of watching your husband run around like a mad man, to get the smallest, shortest laugh out of your tired, grumpy son, is far more enjoyable than any bouquet of flowers. The faces and noises, the dances and songs that entertain baby and mom, they replace those love notes in a way that nothing else could.
Checking the temperature of the bottle, the tub, and or his forehead make him look like a superhero for reasons I cannot explain.
As I type now, he has raised his voice as high as he can, lowered it into a bat man voice, laughed at his own joke, and blew raspberries on Everett’s belly. He’s asked our baby questions that he cannot answer and made up sounds I can’t describe. All in about 2 minutes, and all without knowing how much love surrounded that short period of time.
The most important lesson I have learned being a mom and wife, thus far, is that there is a love that exists that I never knew about. One that they don’t show in movies. One that you can’t see through other people. It is a love that I’m sure many mothers and wives feel, but one that cannot ever be explained, only felt.
One thing I know, this love grows. Every day, every moment, and every minute.